Mortal
by Dildont
Summary: "I just want to go home." Loki whined between sobs. "But I can't…they'll hate me...everyone will. I can't fix it Thor." Hello I come bearing angst! M for suicidal themes.
1. Chapter 1

**Wow, angst is pretty much all I can write. Hope none of you get bored! Please drop me some reviews!**

A mortal. That's all he was now. Odin had taken his powers and banished him permanently to Midgard. That was a few months ago now. Loki had originally not changed his behaviour at all, but upon realising just how weak his mortal form was. He became quiet and withdrawn. Loki had many very demeaning, unmentionable jobs and had earned enough to rent out a very small apartment which felt more like a box to the former Prince. He looked into his hand. A gun. He knew that he was no longer welcome in Asgard and the Midgardians had nothing but hate for him. He had nowhere else to go. So, there he was. In an alley with a gun in his mouth.

It had been much too long since he had seen his younger brother. He was thankful for the punishment Loki had received; it could have been much, much worse. He knew it would be hard on Loki, especially in his current state of mind. And despite all that Loki had done, he still loved his brother, and worried non-stop for him.

Thor had a plan. Not much a plan really, it mostly involved attempting to trick Heimdall into allowing him to travel to Midgard without letting slip he was going for Loki. But of course, being the awful liar he was, Heimdall saw through him immediately. To his surprise however, Heimdall shared concern for the former Prince's wellbeing, and had allowed Thor to go to him.

Thor was transported to Loki's approximate location and after a short walk he came upon him, in a dark alley…with a weapon.

"Brother?" Thor's voice was quiet but horrified at the scene before him. He did not know what he had expected to find on Midgard when he went after Loki but this was not it. "Brother, what are you doing?"

Loki spun on his heel, turning his head to the source of the voice that was all too familiar. His eyes widened and the gun was slowly, shakily pulled from his mouth only to be held against his neck, so that he could at least speak. Taking slow steps backward he began to shake his head "Stay away from me…" he said voice tired, ragged, and softer.

"Why?" Thor said, taking a step toward him. "Are you not happy to see me?"

Loki's tired eyes widened even more "Stop!" he shouted as he jammed the gun under his chin.

"Loki!" he held his hands up "Do not do this."

"Why?" Loki questioned, peering at Thor through his shaggy black hair. "Why shouldn't I? What have I to live for?"

"You have me." Thor answered quietly.

A smirk spread across thin chapped lips. "Oh yes, and I should be **so** very grateful to have the mighty Thor shouldn't I?" Loki couldn't understand. "Why do you keep this up? I am nothing but a monster and you know this!" he screeched, attempting to keep his voice from breaking.

"You are my brother and I have gone through great lengths to find you again."

"I am **NOT **your _brother!_" he spat the last word out as if it were poison. "Everything would be so much better if I were gone. Can you not see that Thor?" he asked, voice quieting and face twisting into a truly heartbreaking expression.

Thor shook his head. "I will never see that."

"Then you are blind." He whispered ad he lifted the gun with a shaking hand, back into his mouth.

"Loki! Put it down!" he begged. He couldn't let Loki do this; he couldn't stand losing his brother, not like this.

Loki hesitated, taking a few deep breaths through his nose. His finger went to the trigger.

Suddenly there was movement. Loki's eyes snapped shut as he pulled the trigger.

Bang.

To his own horror, Loki opened his dull green eyes to see a pair of bright blue staring back down at him. His head flopped to the side looking to his hand and he understood what had happened. Thor had pulled the gun away just before Loki pulled the trigger, sending the bullet into the brick wall.

He lay unmoving on the dirt ground, breathing uneven. He swallowed and attempted to speak "Why..?"

"Because I love you Loki." Thor was panting and half laying on top of Loki, holding his arm with the gun to the ground. He took the gun from his loosening grip and threw it down the alley, out of his reach. He heard a strangled sound from underneath him as Loki sprung up and clung to his shoulders, sobbing. Thor clung back, rocking him slightly. "Loki," he said, voice breaking.

"I just want to go home." Loki whined between sobs. "But I can't…they'll hate me...everyone will. I can't fix it Thor."

"Shhh," Thor said soothingly as he placed a kiss on Loki's forehead. "I'm here."

"What do I do?" he whispered.

"Not this." Thor said, as he continued to rock his broken brother. "Let us rest for a moment. There is much to talk about."

Nodding, Loki pushed Thor's arms away and moved to the wall which he leaned his back on.

"Where have you been staying?" he asked concerned.

Loki sniffed and wiped at his eyes as he answered. "Got a room…last week."

Thor closed his eyes. Loki had been on Midgard for months and he'd only just acquired a place to live. "Let us return to it then and converse in a…better area."

Loki looked to the ground. It would not be much of an improvement. He did not want Thor to see the pathetic excuse for an apartment that he lived in, but the wind was terribly cold, so he agreed and lead Thor to the apartment building, eyeing the gun as they passed it.

They arrived a few minutes later and Loki hesitated in front of the door, slowly turning the key and pushing the squeaking door open. The apartment was very small. One room, no bathroom or kitchen, and apparently no electricity or heat either. There was no furniture save for a sleeping bag along with a few tattered blankets against a wall.

Loki walked up to a wall, kicking trash out of his way before taking a seat. Thor sat next to him, their thighs touching. "I have wanted to find you for a long while, brother." He said, checking Loki's expression, or lack thereof. "However, Father would not allow it."

Loki nodded, eyes focussed intensely on the floor in front of him.

"But now that I am with you," Thor spoke up again, "it will be alright." He said as he wound his arms around the younger one, pulling him closer.

"You truly are blind Thor…" Loki muttered, not taking his eyes away from the creaky wood of the floor. "It will never be alright."

"Nonsense. I will bring you home and we will convince father to restore your powers."

"No." Loki said bluntly. "I do not deserve my powers, nor the status of a god, or even an Aesir for that matter…"

"You deserve to come home." Thor insisted.

"_He_ will not allow me to stay, and even if he does, I will only be thrown into a prison to rot…"

"Father wouldn't. I wouldn't let him."

"I wish it were that easy…" Loki could only imagine how Odin, not to mention Frigga, would react to knowing he had sunk so low that he attempted to take his own life. He'd be treated as if he were a child that needed to be looked after and protected and he didn't want that. All Loki wanted was for everything to be normal again.

"It might not be easy. But it will be better than…than **that**." He insisted.

Loki closed his eyes and a sad smile spread across his trembling lips. "I do not think that it will but perhaps I deserve that."

After a while of uncomfortable silence that seemed to crush him, Loki spoke up. "Why don't you hate me?" he whispered.

"I could never hate you my Loki." Thor said, stroking Loki's hair. "Never."

Loki turned, leaning into Thor evermore as his hair was played with soothingly and he realised just how tired he was. "You're such an idiot." He mumbled, closing his eyes and promptly fell asleep on the cool metal of Thor's chest.

"I know." Thor said as he kissed his hair and went to sleep himself.


	2. Chapter 2

The morning came much too quickly and Thor awoke with a groan. He sat up and stretched his sore muscles. Thor flood had proved itself an uncomfortable bed. He looked to his side to see Loki still sleeping in the pile of dirty blankets, as he had been that night. With a sigh, Thor allowed the events of the previous night run throughout his mind. Coming to Midgard to find Loki making an attempt to take his own life, the breakdown he had once back at his, very sad, excuse for an apartment; the look of utter defeat in his younger brother's eyes...

They were to return to Asgard today. Thor could not allow Loki to stay here if it has causing him so much turmoil, even if it meant going against the word of Odin. Reaching over to take hold of Loki's shoulder, he gently shook his sleeping form. "Brother, it is time to awake. We must return home."

Loki's emerald eyes slowly opened to look at his brother, idiotic smile ever present on his face. "Thor…" he mumbled groggily, as he lifted his upper body to rest his weight on his elbows. "I am not sure I want to return yet." He looked around the room then back to Thor "I do not wasn't your Father nor your friends to look down on me again." He said, dropping back onto his makeshift bed again. "Not that I care about your friends, but if they keep disrespecting me, I won't hesitate to defend myself. After all, I am still a Prince of Asgard."

"I know you are uncertain, but have faith, dear Brother! Nobody will look down on you, and if they do I shall deal with them myself!" Thor boomed, attempting to reassure his brother, smile spread across his face. "We will go back to the palace and speak with Mother and Father and tell them…about what has transpired last night. Perhaps Father will change the conditions of your punishment. You do not deserve to suffer so."

"Oh no," Loki said immediately as he pulled himself into a sitting position on the bed. "Please do not tell anyone about last night's sad episode." Placing his hand on the back of Thor's neck, he looked him in the eyes. "Do not worry. I know I deserve this punishment, but Odin is not innocent either. I only wish he could see what a sad creature it has made me."

"No, Brother." Thor barked firmly, grasping Loki by the shoulders. "Nobody deserves to feel so low that they try to take their lives!" He knew he should have taken Loki last night, when he was still willing. "That is precisely why we should go back. I agree that leaving you defenceless in a city that knows your face only for the damages you caused is more than unfair. But he did what he thought best. He loves you Loki, we all do…"

"Oh but I do deserve it." Loki placed his hands on Thor's chest. "I tried to rule your precious Midgard, Thor, and I almost destroyed this city. I have hurt you and your friends, Thor." He leaned in and buried his face in the crook of Thor's neck. "You should hate me." His voice was so low, it was almost a whisper.

Thor wrapped his arms around his younger brother and placed a kiss on his unkempt hair. "I could never hate you Loki." He replied while soothingly rubbing his large calloused hand over Loki's back. "You need to have more faith in yourself, Brother. You are not as evil as you think. You have so much potential to do good and make up for your wrong-doings but instead you resign." His eyebrows furrowed. He hated this. He hated seeing Loki so hopeless. "I would be more than glad to help you clear your name, but you must be willing."

Loki chuckled bitterly. "See, _that _I do not agree with completely. I _am_ evil. After all I am a Jotun." He wrapped his arms around Thor neck.

"You mustn't believe such old tales…" he muttered. Thor hated the tales that made the frost giants out to be monsters without ever giving them a chance.

"Of course I am willing to clear my name, but what of Odin? I am his stolen relic remember?" He paused, and looked away for a moment, seeing sad memories run through his head. "I am still expecting an apology from him. He lied to me my whole life, how do you think I feel?"

"He had no right to lie to you so. You deserved to know much sooner… But I am not sure he realises the impact it had on you, or perhaps he doesn't know how to react so he pushes you away… I have no idea how horrid it must feel to be left in the dark for so long, Loki, but you must not live in the past, you must work toward the future!"

"Yes, the future, of course." He said flatly. Loki was at lease glad Thor didn't hate the Jotun's as they were brought up to. Back when they were children, Thor would rant about how he'd end them all and it hurt Loki once he'd found out his heritage. But there was much still on his mind. "If we do go back to Asgard, what then, Thor? Will you still leave me in your shadow? Will I still live in the shade of your greatness?" he began to curl his fingers in Thor's golden locks, playing with the hair as he spoke. "I wish to become king, so that I may prove myself a worthy son."

Thor closed his eyes. He hated being wrong. He hated admitting it even more, but… "I—am not without fault either Brother… I treated you unfairly as a child; I pushed you away and expected you to come back every time when it was more convenient for myself. And it hurt you. I didn't see it then but I see it now and I promise you," he pushed Loki back a bit, looking him in the eyes "I _promise_ you, there will be no more shadow."

Loki's lips curved into a soft smile as he looked into Thor's blue eyes. "Well, I suppose it's worth a try." He said, leaning in and taking hold of Thor's chin, pressing their lips together in a tender kiss as if it were the most natural thing to with a sibling. There was a soft wet sound as they parted. "I truly wish to see how you've controlled your pride and arrogance," he said as he released Thor and stood, brushing his dark hair with his fingers. "Do you wish to go now, or do you want to see your Midgardian friends again?"

Thor blinked, momentarily stunned by the sudden kiss. Shaking it off, he stood as well and looked around the room for any belonging Loki may wish to take with him, but there was nothing to be found but a tattered knapsack. He smiled the slight frown away as he slings the bag over his shoulder, and returning his hands to Loki's shoulders. "We shall leave now if that is suitable." With a nod from Loki they made their way outside where Thor looked to the sky and called for Heimdall to open the Bifrost them.

Within a minute they stood in Asgard. Thor looked to Heimdall, prepared to explain Loki's presence but the man merely held up his hand. Of course, he already knew.

With a smile Thor turned back to his brother, shaken from the trip "Loki! Come; let us go see Mother and Father!"


End file.
